McIntyre
Established Member
Re: Let's still all laugh at Tottenham.
And, poor old David Bentley will probably unwrap a present this Christmas of the DVD of his club's famous win over Wigan!
"Thanks Gran, it's just what I wanted!" he'll say.
"I heard you scored a fantastic free-kick in this most incredible victory in Tottenham's history. Stick it on, son, we all want to see this amazing free-kick you scored in this most memorable victory for our beloved Sp**s!" she'll say.
"Errm... okay Gran. I'll stick it on now"
A short while later...
"Wow David, this is such a fantastic Sp**s performance. I can't believe you're trouncing such a pathetic team 7-1" Granny Bentley says.
"And your goal's coming up next, right son...?" says David Bentley Snr.
"Err, that's right Dad. You'll see me put away the best free-kick White Hart Lane has ever seen in a minute and I'll be going down in Sp**s' history," David says nervously, "Here it comes!"
"Yeeeeaaaahhh...ohhhhhh... hold on... didn't that come off the keeper's back?" exclaims Granny Bentley.
"Yeah, that was a f*cking own goal, you muppet David!" storms his old man "What the f*ck are you playing at?!"
"I just wanted you to be proud of me for once Dad. I know I'm an arrogant little rat-faced sc*mbag. I've got a face that's just begging for a slap. I know I'm richer than I really deserve to be, but still try and blow my good fortune by getting wasted and driving around the place in an attempt to kill myself or someone else. I'm just a f*cking tw*t and I'll never be England's answer to David Beckham like they said I would be. Hell, I can't even get in a sh*t Sp**s team ahead of some five foot four midget. I'm a loser, a waste of space. I've wasted my career!!!" drones David.
"There there son, we've always known you were a loser, that's why we were so glad you moved to Sp**s. They'll look after you, I promise! Playing with other losers, winning nothing worthwhile, releasing DVDs of anomalous league results. You'll be happy there, and one day... one day.. you'll feature on another of these glorious Sp**s, ironically undermining, commemorative DVDs!" whispers Bentley Snr.
"Thanks Dad. You're the best. I'll feature as a goalscorer on another of these DVDs one day." says David "We've still got to play Wigan again, and Hull, and Wolves. We've got to get a result at some point that we can release on DVD, and I'll be on it! I swear!!!"
So, David Bentley's pathetic career continues...
And, poor old David Bentley will probably unwrap a present this Christmas of the DVD of his club's famous win over Wigan!
"Thanks Gran, it's just what I wanted!" he'll say.
"I heard you scored a fantastic free-kick in this most incredible victory in Tottenham's history. Stick it on, son, we all want to see this amazing free-kick you scored in this most memorable victory for our beloved Sp**s!" she'll say.
"Errm... okay Gran. I'll stick it on now"
A short while later...
"Wow David, this is such a fantastic Sp**s performance. I can't believe you're trouncing such a pathetic team 7-1" Granny Bentley says.
"And your goal's coming up next, right son...?" says David Bentley Snr.
"Err, that's right Dad. You'll see me put away the best free-kick White Hart Lane has ever seen in a minute and I'll be going down in Sp**s' history," David says nervously, "Here it comes!"
"Yeeeeaaaahhh...ohhhhhh... hold on... didn't that come off the keeper's back?" exclaims Granny Bentley.
"Yeah, that was a f*cking own goal, you muppet David!" storms his old man "What the f*ck are you playing at?!"
"I just wanted you to be proud of me for once Dad. I know I'm an arrogant little rat-faced sc*mbag. I've got a face that's just begging for a slap. I know I'm richer than I really deserve to be, but still try and blow my good fortune by getting wasted and driving around the place in an attempt to kill myself or someone else. I'm just a f*cking tw*t and I'll never be England's answer to David Beckham like they said I would be. Hell, I can't even get in a sh*t Sp**s team ahead of some five foot four midget. I'm a loser, a waste of space. I've wasted my career!!!" drones David.
"There there son, we've always known you were a loser, that's why we were so glad you moved to Sp**s. They'll look after you, I promise! Playing with other losers, winning nothing worthwhile, releasing DVDs of anomalous league results. You'll be happy there, and one day... one day.. you'll feature on another of these glorious Sp**s, ironically undermining, commemorative DVDs!" whispers Bentley Snr.
"Thanks Dad. You're the best. I'll feature as a goalscorer on another of these DVDs one day." says David "We've still got to play Wigan again, and Hull, and Wolves. We've got to get a result at some point that we can release on DVD, and I'll be on it! I swear!!!"
So, David Bentley's pathetic career continues...